About Odysseys Unlimited Inc.

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
613-270-8362
gwen@ouicoach.com

Odysseys Unlimited Inc. (OUI) was established in 1997 and has continued to morph as a company as I, its creator and lifeblood, continue to evolve and grow as a human being.

The current focus of Odysseys is on providing you with resources for life's journey, particularly when your journey involves some sort of life transition because these can be messy, difficult, uncomfortable times in spite of the potential they carry for Self discovery, renewed passion, and reclaimed creativity. I'm especially drawn to working with people who are experiencing challenges around work issues ...they've been fired, downsized or put out to pasture. Or perhaps they anticipate one of these coming and want to be prepared. Sometimes, they are just tired of it all and know they have the capacity to create a much better quality of life for themselves but don't have a clue how.

Then there are the people who are about to retire or who have newly retired and feel a bit like a head-lighted deer. Now what? Working with couples who are renegotiating their relationship as well as adjusting to a new way of living especially appeals to me.

The resources I like to make available to people are the kinds of resources I've found useful on my own journey through life. Articles that invite me to think differently, access to other people's ways of looking at life via blogs, websites, etc., interesting books that will stimulate my thinking, coaching and workshops that allow me to explore and resolve my problems and let me meet other great people dealing with the same issues.

And then there are the people who are looking for a new interest in life and who think that painting just may be it. Getting to lead creativity workshops and retreats is an incredible joy because I get to see people reclaim the kid inside. It's like we are all together playing on the swings and roundabouts at the park!

Odysseys is a small company that produces big results because it honors the good in people. Through Odysseys I work with individuals, couples and very small groups (seldom over 10 in any workshop or retreat). The WEL-Systems® approach that is the basis of all of my work is a huge invitation for you to discover more about yourself and to discover just how magnificent you really are, despite what your parents, your teachers, your bosses and spouses may have had to say over the years. It is an approach that means we can work without words and doesn't require that you bore yourself to tears by telling your story yet another time! And it works quickly and effectively.

The big results that I can support you in producing in your life come from your willingness to become intimate with yourself, possibly for the first time in your life. For most people, that means that they have to have a lot of confidence and trust in me, their coach and workshop leader. That's one reason that I always insist on a preliminary conversation (via phone, face-to-face or via e-mail) prior to any engagement so that we can mutually assess whether there is synergy between us. When there isn't, I am happy to recommend someone else in my extensive network that I believe might better be able to help you get your needs met.

It is also the reason that I am very open about my life story and my life experiences on this website, in my articles, blogs and books. Knowing what I have experienced in my life is a necessary first step for many people in beginning to comfortable that someone else can grasp the issues and challenges they are dealing with. If it is important to you that you feel like you know the person you are hiring as a coach, read on!

Gwen's Odyssey

As I approach the end of my 5th decade of living I keep being reminded that the life I have lived is a unique one, just like yours in unique to you. I'm also reminded that there is one thing that separates me from many people – and that is that I know that the life I've lived is not only important to me, but is important to many other people as an invitation to hope and insight in the moments that their lives don't feel like they are working for them. I know this because of the number of people who have approached me over the years to tell me what a difference I've made in their lives.

There have been many periods in my life when I didn't feel good about myself or when life seemed to be playing me one lousy card after the other. But I know that living life like that is a thing of the past for me. These days I live every moment knowing that my life is my creation and that anything that is happening to me is mine to respond to in any way that I choose.

From working with thousands of clients in coaching sessions and workshops, it has also become clear to me that for many people the challenges that I've faced and overcome are an inspiration to them to face their own tragedies and miseries differently and move on to living from a place where they too feel like they are in charge of their lives and are the active agent in deciding how they'll deal with life as it unfolds as the great mystery that it is.

What follows is an exploration of the odyssey that my life has been as told through a series of questions that are typical of what I've been asked in various workshops and coaching sessions. It is not a linear retelling of my life's story, largely because it focuses on the times, events and insights that have held profound meaning to me rather than the long, twisting series of events that constitute the historical 'truth' of my life. That is not to say that anything that follows is in any way untrue. But rather that it reflects the truth of how I've experienced my life. One of these days I'd like to write a book where each of my 9 siblings gets to recount their truth of their lives; I sometimes wonder if there'd be any similarity at all in our experiences of growing up with the same two people as parents!

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When you look back on your early life what, for you, are the defining experiences of your childhood?

For decades I would have talked about growing up poor in an authoritarian household as being important aspects of my young years.

I recall a dinner party I attended when I was in my mid-20's where the rather prim mother of a friend was present. The conversation had turned to how our upbringing had shaped who we were as adults. When it came to my turn I mentioned that by the standards of the day my family would have been considered "the working poor" and so much of what the others at the table had experienced as children simply hadn't been available to me. The prim mother took a deep breath, lifted her chin and announced "My dear, certain conversations aren't acceptable at the dinner table. Perhaps you should learn when it is best to say nothing!" It was my first realization that some perspectives, no matter how true, were offensive to some people. And it was the first time that I realized that I could be ashamed of my roots or I could talk about them in a way that held meaning for me, regardless of whether others thought they were offensive or not.

I'm sure that the prim mother would be horrified to hear me now describe my early life. I realize now that in addition to being poor, we lived a life of abuse, both physical and sexual with an alcoholic father and a raging, self-mutilating mother. It's hard to pick out specific defining experiences. I remember the relentless hard work involved in growing up in an isolated, rural home with so many children, no hot running water, a coal furnace and a wood stove for cooking winter and summer. I recall how humiliating it felt when the phone and electricity were turned off because the bills hadn't been paid and I have memories of being taken to town very occasionally when my mother went grocery shopping and hearing her wheedle with the butcher about how she needed just one more week of credit in order to feed her family. It took a long time for me to realize that a couple of us were likely taken with her specifically to rouse his sympathy when he was threatening to cut her off from any more meat on credit.

I also recall the on-going violence that seemed like such a normal occurrence. It seemed like somebody was always being spanked for something. The yelling, screaming and swearing associated with the beatings was actually harder to bear than the 'spankings' themselves. My mother could have taught sailors a few new colorful expressions so rich was her vocabulary of expletives, although she was inordinately proud that she never stooped so low as to use the "f" word! But how many times a day were we kids yelled at "If I get my hands on you little sons of bitches" or "What are you little christers up to now".

As I write this response I realize that it is relentlessness more than anything else that has marked me as an adult. To this day I am able to tolerate quite unacceptable behaviors for quite a long period of time when they become chronic and not intense enough to break through some tolerance threshold I've developed. I think it has become a skill that actually works in my favor when dealing with clients; there is little that they can do that makes me feel threatened or otherwise unsafe!

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Was there nothing good about your growing up years?

Actually, I have many fond memories of my childhood. And most of them occur outside the home and with my mother either being in the deep background or otherwise not present. My memories of my father are more of a mixed blessing because he was almost always centrally involved in things that happened outside the house. He had a way of being really friendly and making you feel very special, only to end up humiliating you and then re-telling the story for years when he and his buddies were getting drunk. So my fond memories of childhood often have a tinge of tension around the edge. I realize now that even when they went well, part of me was always holding my breath, waiting for things to go wrong.

I recall what a big adventure it was in our family every August when we'd go blueberry picking over in Quebec. I remember all the preparations for the picnic, everyone piling into the car (this was pre-seatbelt days when the big kids would sit on the seats and we'd each have a little kid on our lap!) and then a long walk uphill onto the burned over mountain top where we had to watch out for bears while we picked away.

I remember building forts in the bush on our 12-acre hobby farm, climbing the maple tree down by the ditch, having family come for a visit because they distracted our parents and we got to stay up late and eat all kinds of things we weren't supposed to. I recall being sent out for the day with my younger siblings in tow, each of us with a bowl or jar to be filled with berries before we were allowed to come home. Then as I got older I remember my father buying an old cottage, lock, stuck and barrel; the fun of swimming in a beaver flooded lake that had no beaches; of taking the big old oak rowboat out into the middle of the lake all by myself and pretending that I couldn't hear my mother calling me when it was time to head in and help make dinner.

School was almost always a good experience for me. I was liked by my teachers and did well academically. If you did what you were asked to, nobody yelled at you and you weren't always having to look after pesky younger kids like at home. Even at recess it was acknowledged that the teacher on yard duty was responsible for what the kids got up to so I could actually do what I felt like and not always be on the look-out for what mischief the others were getting into.

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How did these early experiences impact your later life?

Perhaps one of the most obvious ways is that I chose not to have children because I never wanted to do to my children what my mother had done to me. When I was younger I hadn't had the luxury to engage any personal growth and development work (I didn't even know that was available until I was nearly 50!) and I feared that I was doomed to mother like I was mothered. I realize now, in retrospect, that wasn't the case, but such is life. I don't for a second regret my decision, by the way. I am very well aware that in choosing to not have children I gave myself permission to take on many things that may not have been possible had I been busy raising kids.

I also believe that my relationship with work has been profoundly affected by my early childhood. Despite his quirks and mean streak, my father seemed to me to live a much richer life than my mother did. So I learned early that doing well at work was a pathway out of a nasty life. My early life also taught me how to work hard. As a substitute mom from an extremely young age, I was adept at juggling many balls at one time (and keeping them all in the air for very long periods of time), keeping people happy, taking on one more job and not having very many expectations of the people giving me the work. Once I became employed I discovered that people actually liked you and paid you for those attributes!

What was much more elusive for me was to discover that some people actually enjoyed the work they did! But that's another story.

My ability to count on myself through thick and thin is also a direct result of my childhood experiences. And my lifelong struggle as an adult to let others help me is the flip side of that coin! The past few years have seen a lot of growth for me in this arena as my husband and friends can attest. I've also come to realize that one of the reasons I like to work with people is that I know that I am always impacted by them. As my clients make discoveries and grow as humans, I am always growing and evolving as well.

Another biggie is that I feel like I am living a 'reverse engineered' life. I started out life feeling very old and serious, with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I find that as I age, I am discovering more and more how to have fun and to enjoy life. I believe that my discoveries in this arena have really fueled my interest in working with other people, because as I've learned to relax and enjoy my life, I can see how serious and uptight so many other people are.

There are many, many more but I think those are some of the biggies.

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What experiences have you had as an adult that you think are important for the work you do?

Perhaps one of the biggest happened when I was quite young. My first husband was killed in a plane crash when I was the ripe old age of 26. I discovered at that time just how strong and resourceful I am. I also discovered just how fragile and ephemeral life can be. It taught me to enjoy each moment as it passes because you never know what tomorrow brings. That gave me a 25-year head start on many people in coming to grips with what's important in life!

Being married 3 times feels like another important series of experiences. I know the grief of losing someone you love, the despair of living in a marriage that is a mistake, the joy of picking up your life (again and again!). And I know the deep satisfaction that comes from creating a long term relationship that remains vital, supportive and meaningful even though it has its periods where those are called into question.

Getting fired a couple of times also feel like important experiences for me. Not like they were fun, but they were moments when I had to come face-to-face with myself and figure out where I was going wrong. Those were moments when I started to realize that I had to take charge, I had to discover what was important to me about work and what I was good at. And out of that started to develop the realization that life could be planned rather than having it 'just happen'!

Deciding to leave a well paying executive position to start my own company was another extremely important experience. I had had the belief for some time that I had what it took to run a successful independent business, but I knew that if I never stepped outside the safety of a regular paycheque and the infrastructure of a corporation that I'd never discover just how much I was capable of. One day I imagined myself as a 70 year old looking back and regretting that I'd played it safe. And so off I went into the wonderful world of entrepreneurialism. And here I am 10 years later, still not in jail and with a wonderful track record of success, people I've positively impacted and much growth behind me.

I could go on, but these feel like the real experience peaks for me when I take the long view back over my adult life.

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When did you begin to think about people's lives as being a journey or odyssey?

I'm not really certain when that began. Probably when I was in my 40's. By that time I'd had enough experience in life to begin to notice that I had left tracks behind me as I lived my life. Just like you have left tracks from the living of your life. I began to notice too that as I got older I was more aware that I could create a path for myself into the future. I guess I was a bit of a late bloomer in this way. For years and years, life just felt to me like it was something I lived. It never dawned on me that you could create a plan for your life and then actually engage that plan and make it happen.

I think that 1993 was a watershed year in many ways. I took a course called "Women, Leadership and the Future" and over a short 3 days began to realize that I was so much more in control of my life than I'd ever dreamed possible. Truly those 3 days revolutionized my life. I connected with who I was in a big way and began to realize that there was no shame in having ambition or being willing to go for the brass ring.

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Why did you call your company Odysseys Unlimited Inc?

There were two main reasons.

The experience of taking the "Women, Leadership and the Future" course probably really began to solidify the metaphor of life as a journey for me. When I started my own business in 1997 I realized that the metaphor of life as an odyssey was perfect for me. An odyssey is defined as a "long and sometimes arduous journey" and that perfectly matched my own experience of my life. By then I had also started to awaken to the notion that our journey through life can be one that doesn't happen in a smooth flow.

I've felt like my life has started anew a couple of times. So calling my company Odysseys Unlimited felt right because it presupposed that you could have an unlimited number of fresh starts. Since then I've also come to recognize that my intuition was right in that I also believe that you can be on several simultaneous journeys which may be linked in some deep, spiritual way but which may feel fairly different in the living of them. For example, I may feel like I am on one journey in my business and on a different one in my marriage.

My second reason is that the acronym for Odysseys Unlimited Inc. is OUI, French for Yes. I loved the enthusiasm and optimism OUI expressed. I liked the inclusiveness of its English expression "we". And while my heritage is not something that is very big in my life, I like that it acknowledged my French Canadian parentage.

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What does the future hold for you?

I wish I knew! But here's where my thinking has been evolving ...

...being fat is something I no longer wish to be. How I'm going to resolve that I'm not exactly sure, but I know it doesn't include traditional dieting. It does likely involve becoming more physically active. Hiking has started to resurface as something I enjoy ...stay tuned!

...continuing to work with people is a given. I can no more imagine not working with people than I can imagine not breathing! I keep seeing couples who are struggling with their relationship as they approach and enter retirement so I know that will continue to grow as a focus. I also know that my own adjustments to living in a home half the size of what we were used to has raised this topic on my own radar.

...developing 'retreats' is becoming more appealing to me, especially around creativity and couples work. Going someplace special for a week or two where there is lots of time to explore the big issues at a more leisurely pace feels more and more appealing.

...thinking beyond what the next decade has to offer is calling to me. What will the world be like 10 years from now? Will we even have a world 10 years from now, given the way we're going? Who will I become in the next decade and what will I want to develop to keep myself vital and vibrant into the next decade of my life? As the manifestation spiral that I am continues to unfold, what discoveries await?